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Joke of the Day

"My wife has been mad at me lately because she says I need to get my priorities straight... I told her we can talk about it after this episode of Spongebob."

"When you lick the icing off a spoon... Are you defrosting it?"

"People can be so easy to read.... ....Like if their face is red, they're embarrassed. Or if their skin is brown, they're about to commit a crime."

"I told my parents I wanted a panda for christmas. all I got was a white x6"

"Why did the console cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side."

"What's big and grey and wears a mask ? The elephantom of the opera !"

"Ways to know a guy at the bar wants to take you home: 1. He talks to you. 2. He buys you a drink. 3. That drink makes you REALLY sleepy."

"What is a printer's favorite Village People song? YMCK"

"Did you hear about the window installer with two penises? He was double-hung."

"AMA Request: Kim Davis. I would like to hear her answer this question, for she seems uniquely qualified to do so: If a man and woman from Kentucky get a divorce, are they still brother and sister?"