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Joke of the Day

"My wife thinks I'm too impulsive. How the hell would she know? We only met last week!"

"How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars."

"What's the difference between Jews and Santa? Santa goes down the chimney."

"What did the Irishman say about Batman and Superman's fathers? They were both Martha Fockers"

"What are the similarities between hiring a prostitute and bungee jumping? It's both expensive, short and when the rubber snaps you're fucked."

"I'll admit that the Chinese kids in math class are pretty smart... But doing it with their eyes closed... that's a bit cocky."

"Don't like me? You'll come around. - Onion Rings"

"I noticed a bank teller having trouble counting coins so i bumped into his desk and knocked some cents into him."

"What ever happened to Hitler's family? He Adolf Them..."

"How do you tell the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized."