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Joke of the Day

"Don't like me? You'll come around. - Onion Rings"

"Me: Shhh, your brother is still sleeping. 4yo: *runs upstairs CRASH JUMP ""Wake up!"" SLAM *runs back downstairs ""No, he's not."""

"""Look at me! I'm a ninja!"" - 4yo not getting the whole ninja concept yet."

"[interview] HIM: What are your strengths? ME: Well, I can see dead people. HIM: Wow, interesting. Any hobbies? ME: Grave digging"

"How do Australians find sheep in the long grass? Irresistible..."

"Jokes about white sugar are common, but brown sugar? Demerara. "

"I dressed up as a coprophiliac Taurus to the Halloween party, but got kicked out because apparently it was ""indecent."" Bull-fucking-shit."

"when i found out i won the World's Saddest Man award i became slightly happy and was immediately stripped of my title"

"Big GTA 5 bug A cop killed my white character in GTA 5. Anyone else experiencing this bug?"

"What do cat actors say on stage ? Tabby or not tabby !"