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Joke of the Day
"I've been eating sunflower seeds and Tweeting for 9 hours. Now I know what my canary feels like."
Next Joke
"What do monkeys drink in space? Orangu-Tang."
"I saw on a Viagra bottle ""Keep away from Children"" What kind of a man do they think I am?"
"If you want to be a General Motors engineer, your memory needs to be perfect. You have to recall everything."
"People ask me why I don't have any tattoos. I tell em "" would you put a bumper sticker on your ferrari?"
"What is the difference between an apple and an orange? None, the two are not a snake"
"In high school I hooked up with my teacher... She was really into me... I mean I was home schooled, but still!"
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotapuss"
"Just once, I'd like to see an honest Facebook status, like ""happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!"""
"What is the difference between jelly and jam? [NSFW?] What is the difference between jelly and jam? *I can't jelly my dick up your ass.*"