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Joke of the Day

"My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with Star Wars'. I said: ""May divorce be with you."""

"Why do you never see Mexicans with acne? They keep slipping off."

"Did you know Danny Welbeck's dad was a bomb disposal expert. His name was Stan Welbeck."

"What do you get when a ghost takes a crap? Rectoplasm."

"Johnny Bravo would be so perfect for Jersey shore."

"How is a man like the weather? Nothing can be done to change either one of them."

"A little demon came home from school one day and said to his mother 'I hate my sister's guts.' 'All right' said his mother 'I won't put them in your sandwiches again.'"

"*octopus goes in for a palm reading* Psychic: ""CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS"""

"[A giraffe walks into a scarf shop] *The managers eyes turn into dollar signs*"

"With the recent success of mining for Chileans, I'm just hoping the U.S. doesn't try drilling for Farm Laborers."