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Joke of the Day
"How is a man like the weather? Nothing can be done to change either one of them."
Next Joke
"If you ever feel silly for being on Twitter just remember there are people on national television asking ""ghosts"" questions."
"2nd month dating: A thousand lifetimes with you would not be enough. 2nd month of marriage: OMG you are the loudest cereal chewer on earth!"
"How did the man feel when he got a big bill from the electric company? He was shocked."
"I'd tell my neighbor about the weird smell coming from her apartment, but she's been so quiet that I don't want to disturb her."
"""I believe I can fry"" - R Kelly filling out McDonald's application"
"""I just got a fruit juicer because they say juicing adds years to your life... ...What they don't tell you is the years you add juicing, you lose cleaning you juicer."" -Kyle Dunnigan-"
"What's the difference between the ISIS headquarters and a kindergarten? I don't know, I just fly the drone."
"The Masochist begged the Sadist, ""Beat me, beat me!!"" The Sadist said, ""No"""
"What's the dumbest animal in the jungle? The polar bear."