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Joke of the Day

"A little demon came home from school one day and said to his mother 'I hate my sister's guts.' 'All right' said his mother 'I won't put them in your sandwiches again.'"

"Work meeting Boss: it's come to my attention that someone has been eating out of the trash! Everyone, including his pet raccoon looks at me"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Its a trick question... Feminists cant change shit"

"I wanna thank my mom for not aborting me and my dad for buying cheap condoms. Love you guys"

"Better than a Justin Bieber concert: 1. Being deaf. 2. A rattlesnake bite. 3. Chewing razor blades. 4. Licking a public toilet seat."

"Why was purple jealous? Because red blue green."

"How do you disappoint a pack of redditors? [removed]"

"What do you call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for thousands of years? Church."

"I take off my blindfold. Before me is a gory tableau of death and destruction, bodies strewn across the landscape. The pinata is unscathed."

"How can you tell that truckers like nuts? They always have pecans! (Read aloud)"