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Joke of the Day

"I figured out why there are so many masturbation-related injuries that's when all the guardian angels cover their eyes"

"I'm into cryogenics. All the cool kids are doing it."

"Son: ""Mom, Dad, I'm gay."" Mom: *Stares at Dad* Dad: *Clenches fist* Mom: ""Don't!"" Dad: *Sweats Profusely* Mom: ""..."" Dad: ""HI GAY, I'M DAD"""

"Does time fly when you're having sex or was it really just one minute?"

"I'd say I'm a down to earth guy... but that's mostly because of gravity..."

"hey girl are u from tennessee cause u have a tennessee accent and i have ur birth certificate here and it says ur from tennessee"

"What do you call a midget psychic running from the cops? A small medium at large!"

"kid, we've been tracking your performance on the self checkout... you're the best we've ever seen. we'd like you to become our head cashier"

"-Can you describe the jellyfish that stung you? -Yes, it looked like a lazy toddler tried to draw an octopus."

"What do Pimps and Santa have in common? They stay with 3 ho's"