82572

Joke of the Day

"My neighbor told me she doesn't care what people think about her. So I told her I think about her naked. Turns out she's a hypocrite."

Next Joke
 
"The other day I sold someone a stale fish, next day he came to my store and said ""you selfish"" and left... now I am not sure if I should have replied ""yes"" or ""sorry""."
"I would most likely die like 45 minutes into a zombie apocalypse, and even more likely it would not be zombie apocalypse related."
"Why do flamingos stand on one leg? Because if they didn't they'd fall over."
"Hi, I'm a college professor. Years ago I wrote a terrible book no one wanted. Anyway you have to buy it for 80 dollars"
"Why has Hillary Clinton ask Santa for a 23 letter alphabet? Because she's sick of F.B.I"
"What does a baby sound like when you put it in the microwave? Idk, I was too busy jacking off..."
"I m married a girl with acute angina... After a couple of kids it was gone."
"What's the difference between a Bitch and a Slut? A Slut fucks everyone. A Bitch fucks everyone but you."
"What's the difference between a Priest and Acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13."