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Joke of the Day

"What did the Mancunian abortion doctor say to the fetus? ""Don't look back in hanger"""

"Accidentally used my GF's razor and now I feel fat and I'm pretty pissed about something you guys did 3 years ago"

"The inventor of Gogurt has died. He would like you to open his urn along the dotted line and splatter half the ashes all over your shirt."

"I hate when I forget to shave then people assume I'm a hippy and start talking about recycling."

"A deaf man and deaf lady go on a date..."

"Has a conversation in my head - Cackles with mirth"

"There's no toilet paper in this stall so I guess I live here now."

"Contagious Had my grandmother mow my lawn, it took that contagious."

"Are you afraid of the dark? Just sing the opening line to ""The Sound of Silence."" Darkness will feel like you're being clingy and leave the room."

"How do you know a blonde has been on your PC There is typex all over the screen"