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Joke of the Day
"The Physics Department didn't like my Stephen Hawking jokes... ...They all got bent out of shape."
Next Joke
"You deplete me"
"My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate."
"I can't believe rattlesnake warnings are called rattles and not cautionary tails"
"Hand 2 toddlers a poisoned cookie and tell them not to eat it, then leave for a day. Some would call that stupid. The Bible calls it Genesis"
"I just wish I was rich enough to be able to throw all of the pots and pans away after I cook."
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin: A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
"What is Donald Trump's favorite flavor of Tic Tac? ..... Tempermint"
"Q: How did the hermit pay for his home? A: Alone."
"Balls Deep is not a accurate form of measurement."