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Joke of the Day

"When I found out that my girlfriend was a vegan... I pretended I'd never met herbivore."

"My cousin writes a lot of dark, emo poetry His parents say not to worry, though - he's just going through a phrase."

"Why is the universe expanding? It needs more space."

"Does Batman make this look bad? [http://i.imgur.com/aNurRdN.jpg](http://i.imgur.com/aNurRdN.jpg) I personally think it's funny, but it is pretty fucked up."

"I like my women like I like my books. With big Titles."

"Some are mad Trump won. Others are mad that the anti-Trumps are mad. I'm mad that you open up a new bag of chips and it's only 1/3 full."

"I'll give you $10 if you divide it by a half and give it back..."

"Giving ""the silent treatment"" only matters to those who want to hear what you have to say."

"I told my date I was depressed. I added, ""not like cut my inner thigh depressed, but sleep with you even though I don't like you depressed."""

"Yo momma Is so fat, that she has her own event horizon!"