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Joke of the Day

"""Is there a genius in the house?! It's an emergency!"" *I start to get up from table* *wife discretely stops me* *I silently agree with wife*"

"Three people I never mess with:n1- PMSing women.n2- Truck drivers.n3- PMSing truck drivers."

"Turkeys Recalled. Did you see the news story about the turkey recall? Check your freezers, because Butterball is recalling all of their turkeys because they forgot to butter the balls."

"A woman got wooden breast implants yesterday. It would be funny if this joke had a punch line wooden tit."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants??? One is a crusty bus station and one is a busty crustacean:D"

"What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of co-ordination? HAND EYEEEEE.........."

"Did you hear about the monster with one eye at the back of his head and one at the front? He was terribly moody because he couldn't see eye to eye with himself."

"when I was 11 my dad saw me using deodorant, laughed, and said ""that's not how you do it."" I never asked him the right way & it haunts me"

"My friend told me that he saw a bowl so big that it was the size of Australia. Which I replied, ""Wanna know whats also the size of Australia? Australia."

"Just came up with.. Q: How do pirates like their jigsaws? A: In pieces of eight."