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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the monster with one eye at the back of his head and one at the front? He was terribly moody because he couldn't see eye to eye with himself."

"By putting the punchline in the title How do you trick /r/jokes into thinking it's a repost?"

"Your mom is like the Liberty Bell ............ Everyone gets to feel her crack !"

"What do you call the most successful vasectomist in American history? American Snipper"

"I was in the supermarket when I got a message on my phone telling me there were 24 singles in my area Think I'm going to delete the Kraft Cheese app."

"Wife: [looking out of window] Go and talk to our son. He's outside looking forlorn. Me: [goes outside] *points to grass* it's there u prick"

"How much hate does it take to qualify as a ""hater""? I hate tons of stuff."

"What women want.. ...is a penis made of chocolate that ejaculates money."

"Double standards are not fair! When miley cirus gets naked and licks hammers its beautiful and artistic, but when I do it its weird, creepy and I get a life time ban from Ikea."

"Did you know that Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer? Too bad he never cries."