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Joke of the Day

"When I got my new job, my boss said I could name my salary But he said ""paltry"" and "" inadequate"" were already taken."

"When I said that I wanted to be a comedian, everyone laughed Well, now I'm here, and no one is laughing."

"Wtf this movie was not at all like the book! Friend: It was, are you sure you read the book? Sure I did. I read between the lines."

"I don't punish the dog for eating my unattended food because I do the same thing to other people"

"I've finally figured out why I can't lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in shower that runs down my body says, ""4 extra volume & body"

"After years of research, scientists have discovered what the woman wants! Meanwhile she changed her mind."

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good."

"Spider-Man's a great addition to The Avengers, if they're looking for a superhero who is best at watching people they love die."

"I used to be Irish... Then I became completely full of ire."

"Why did the riot police show up early to the protest? They wanted to beat the crowd."