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Joke of the Day

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good."

"Why can't Jesus eat a cheeseburger? Because he's dead."

"I might not be the ""best"" father in the world, but I'm also bad with money & know how to beat a polygraph."

"My wife told me she used to be a lesbian once ""You mean I turned you?"" I asked with a grin. ""No...."" she replied wistfully. ""I just ran out of money."""

"I rented a prostitute for $60 an hour, I paid her 50 cents."

"If there was a black character in Clue, the game would be called Solved."

"This is Major Tom to Ground Control. This protocol is bad. Why is it we are singing to each other? It's no wonder our funding has gone away."

"Like I was telling my friends, my wife walked into a door. and that pissed me off so I hit her."

"I can't be the only one worried about where spiders go in winter."

"Why does it seem like 90% of Redditors are hardcore liberal atheists? Because the conservatives are at work."