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Joke of the Day

"I've finally figured out why I can't lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in shower that runs down my body says, ""4 extra volume & body"

"What is a surgeon's excuse for not wearing a condom? Don't worry baby, I'm sterile."

"Q: What did the judge say about the man shot twelve times by the police? A: The most horrific suicide scenario I have ever heard of."

"Now that Brexit is over we can expect 1. Nexit 2. Frexit 3. Grexit 4. Departugal 5. Italeave 6. Czechout 7. Outstria 8. Finish 9. Slovakout 10. Latervia 11. Byegium 12. Polend"

"Doctor, doctor, I keep suffering from halucinations that I'm the brightest star in the night sky. Surely, you can't be Sirius."

"Thanks for never punching me in the face, most people."

"What do you call it when a group of ghosts rob a bank? A polterheist."

"I feel like Trump is like Hitler Terribly misunderstood."

"It doesn't matter if you're black or white. Unless my wife just gave birth to you."

"How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one :("