91990
Joke of the Day
"Comedy is all about timing, timing, and"
Next Joke
"What's another word for knowing that you're right? Woman"
"If I was Penguin's attorney I'd request bail by saying ""He's no flight risk!"" Then Hi-5 the whole courtroom but Batman. I'd leave him hangin"
"A battery's life sucks. You're either working or you're dead."
"I went to my dad and asked him... Me: hey dad will you watch a movie I'm going to cast in Dad : no Me: why? Dad: I don't watch porn"
"I don't think a single person at the office noticed that I shaved off my mustache. All I heard all day long was, ""Where are your pants?"""
"""It's MY way, or that other way!"" -Ultimatums before the invention of the highway"
"I told my girlfriend to make a sextape together. She agreed. It became a vine"
"Does the carpet match the drapes? Nope, I've got hardwood."
"[Blue whale documentary] This monster can eat 40 million fish in a day. Whale looking directly into the camera: Yeah I'm kind of a foodie."