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Joke of the Day

"I went into a butchers today and said, ""Is that a sheep's head in the window?"" He said, ""No, it's a mirror."""

"Did you hear about the dyslexic atheistic insomniac? He lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog."

"I got fired from the sperm bank today.. Apparently they frown upon drinking on the job."

"I'm my own worst enemy, but there are literally hundreds of people tied for second place."

"I was speaking to a computer technician. ""How do you make a motherboard?"" I asked him. He said, ""Tell her about my job."""

"Give me your best ""Your mom..."" joke! Like this: Your mom is so fat she ate the Internet!"

"If there'd been a mix up my uncle could have been President of the United States He was an army undertaker, also known as a 'barrack embalmer' \- Milton Jones"

"All things in moderation. Unless no one's looking."

"People at work say i'm unnecessarily rude ... but i say fuck those cunts."

"Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care"