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Joke of the Day

"I don't make the same mistake twice. I make it at least 5-6 times to be sure."

"Jared likes his subs like he likes his kids. 6 and 12."

"What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland ? The Loch Ness Elephant !"

"If a lion ever bites off your arm, try to chew some of his hair off before you run away. He deserves to look stupid until it grows back."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bach ! Bach who ? Bach to work!"

"If you lend someone 20 Bucks, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it."

"The world's largest info tech company has merged with a mobile accessories company, but refuses to share a name with them. And they're not even sorry about it. Nope, they're not Apple-Logitech."

"7yo: Let's not talk ALL day today 6yo: Ok! Me: *holy shit yessss* 7yo: LET'S ONLY WHISTLE AND CLAP INSTEAD Me: Right. Of course."

"This will be the fifth year in a row that my in-laws will come over for Christmas... I think this time, we should let them in..."

"Did you hear about the guy who fell into an upholstery machine? Now he's fully recovered."