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Joke of the Day
"Why is the biggest nose only 11 inches? Because if it was 12 inches it would be a foot!"
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the shirt that needed to lose weight? It runs big."
"I always feel bad for cantaloupes ... They just want to get hitched"
"A dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac... lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog."
"I'm the perfect man if you don't factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being."
"*judge bangs gavel on desk* *judge cooks gavel breakfast in the morning* *judge tell gavel he loves her* *judge marries gavel*"
"[last supper] ""Tonight, one of you will betray me for 20 pieces of silver."" ""30."" ""Sorry Judas?"" [sips wine] ""I didn't say anything."""
"Why does a milking stool only have three legs? The cow has the udder."
"[Adam and Eve in bed] Adam, am I really the only girl for you? GOD EVE, YOU'RE LITERALLY THE ONLY GIRL ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH"
"You know what's fun to do in Ohio? ... Pack up and get the fuck out."