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Joke of the Day

"Latvian girl can count Latvian girl count to potato. Is valedictorian."

"A recent survey reported that three quarters of men don't know how to turn on the dish washer... I find that licking her nipples and a light gentle fingering usually does the trick..."

"How can you tell when the Chief Accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to Marketing before saying No"

"What's the difference between a pregnant lady and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb."

"Heisenberg got pulled over by the cops for speeding Winding down his window, he was greeted by a shout of ""Do you know how fast you were going?!"" ""Not a clue, but I know *exactly* where I was."""

"Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. I hate Bounty Hunters."

"Why is the ocean so salty? The land never waves back."

"What is Six Point Nine? A good time ruined by a period."

"How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it"

"""It's going to be amazing!"" No, it's not."