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Joke of the Day

"My parents never taught me how to be humble or modest I'm just naturally incredible at it."

"So, it is clear now that the only person who can stop a Trump presidency is Hillary Clinton... ...by conceding in favour of Bernie Sanders."

"an optimist, a pessimist, and a nihilist live in a shared apartment. dah- dum -- crash!"

"Is this how you reddit ? I threw my old Ironing board out and have started using Katie Price instead. Her legs are easier to open."

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? ...right where you put it."

"What does a tornado and a red-neck divorce have in common? Either way someone's going to lose a trailer."

"Why did Hitler prefer apples to oranges? He didn't like the juice."

"That's a nicece ham you have there. Would be a shame if someone put a ""s"" at the start and a ""e"" at the end."

"Where do footballers dance? At a football!"

"My daughters boyfriend still doesn't know how to tie his shoes... Every time I walk in her room that's all she's doing."