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Joke of the Day
"The universe implodes.... No matter."
Next Joke
"In the old days you could send your kid to the store with a note to get your cigarettes. Now they need a mask and a knife."
"How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes."
"What happened when the host of Dirty Jobs said hello to a friend that was fairly far away? Microwave."
"My mom is the healthiest person I know... She's been a vegetable her whole life."
"The best part of being a supervillain is the freedom to laugh maniacally at all times"
"Darling, you are the most beautiful woman in this party! Did you invite these guests on purpose?"
"What's the best wood to make a golf club out of? Taiga Wood"
"What do you call an American with a lavatory on his head ? John."
"If short people smoke weed... If short people smoke weed, do they get high or medium."