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Joke of the Day

"Darling, you are the most beautiful woman in this party! Did you invite these guests on purpose?"

"I wonder if my first cat appreciates being at least slightly immortalized in my passwords."

"YOUR SO BALD THAT WHEN YOU WHERE A TURTLENECK YOU LOOK LIKE A ROLL ON DEODORANT."

"How many men does it take to wallpaper a feminists house? Only one, but you have to slice him REALLY thin!"

"My boss wrote accidently wrote ""Pantera"" instead of ""Panera"" and now I'm dressed really inappropriately for this business lunch."

"What did Louis say to Clark? Suck this mcdoubledaw dick nyuggahahahahaha /buh dum tiss"

"How did Pavlov keep his dogs so fluffy? He used conditioner on them."

"Punctuation is really important: it's the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse, and helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse."

"What were ACDC called when they were kids? ABCD"

"My headphones stopped working before the warranty... I'm taking them to cord over this!"