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Joke of the Day

"Duct tape is like the Force It has a light side, a dark side and it holds the universe together."

"I had a nightmare that I was the Michelin man I woke up feeling tired from that one."

"Which knight of the round table had Diabetes? Sir Lance-a-lot"

"Atilla the Hun, Adolf Hitler and a lawyer are stranded with you on a island ... - and you have a gun with only 2 bullets, who do you shoot? -- The lawyer twice."

"How do you fit 20 Cubans in a shoebox? Tell them it floats!"

"My face is permanently frozen into this scowl. You were right, Grandma."

"What does a hooker get from Santa? 50 bucks"

"You're the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job."

"A man walks into a chemists ""Hi, I'd like some Viagra please"" asks the man. ""I'm sorry"" says the Pharmacist. ""You can't get that over the counter."" ""You can if you take enough."" replies the man."

"Girls, get your abortions NOW in case the Republicans win"