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Joke of the Day

"Back in my day, Nintendo Wii meant you peed your pants because you wouldn't move for hours playing Super Mario Bros."

"An Atheist, a Vegan, and a Jehovah's Witness walk into a bar.. I know because they told everyone in less than a minute."

"Every Liam Neeson movie now is just him talking on the phone then killing people, right?"

"What do you call a really nice sex addict? Compassionate."

"*wife puts down dinner plate* *single pea rolls off plate* Me: oh no we have an esca-pea Wife: Me: I don't care I think it's still funny"

"Social media is nice because now we can all experience profound solitude and isolation together."

"What's a pirate's favorite move in chess? Check, matey."

"I used to go to the physician just like you, but then I took an hammer to the knee."

"After 30 years of shopping, my wife still has nothing to wear today."

"the crow was calling my name thought cah"