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Joke of the Day

"What's a pirate's favorite move in chess? Check, matey."

"Moby jumped over a mountain.... of air. . . . . . . What did you expect?"

"Namast'ay Away from negative people."

"Why was the baby in Africa crying? It was having a mid-life crisis."

"A farmer's cattle broke out of their pen and got into the marijuana plants he was growing. The steaks were really high."

"Why do sanitary towel adverts always feature a liquid which is blue? Are aliens their primary customers?"

"So I got myself a Cuban girlfriend... She is my Guantanamo bae."

"Please stop putting flyers on my windshield in parking lots. I have no desire to see your new band called ""Parking Violation""."

"Me: What's one thing you don't like about your girlfriend? Him: She doesn't swallow. Me: What? How does she eat?"

"WIFE: Don't tell the kids but I threw away those awful pictures they made & stuck on the fridge ME: [sprinting towards the bin] MY ART"