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Joke of the Day
"What's a pirate's favorite move in chess? Check, matey."
Next Joke
"Have any of you heard back from D yet? DEEZ NUTZ HAHA GOT EM"
"What kind of flour is independent? Self-Raising flour.. I'll get my coat."
"whats the best part about sleeping with twenty-seven year olds? There are twenty of them"
"We'll probably get a raging Boehner after the State of the Union address tonight."
"If life was reddit... I'd still be unpopular"
"Hillary Clinton made a joke about her own hair Clinton jokes: The hair is real, the color isn't - CNN"
"Song Name?"
"How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber? Ask them to say the word 'unionized'."
"*brushes teeth for seventeen hours straight before dentist appointment* ""Jessica, there is an entire Oreo behind your second molar."""