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Joke of the Day

"If there's a sock on my doorknob it means I'm having sex with the other one."

"If I had a dollar for every time one of my kids said ""Mom, you're not funny"", I could buy a beach house. And live by myself."

"In Louisville, KY where bars are open till 4 am. Here's my slogan for them: ""Get upchucky in Kentucky."""

"Why did the blonde call the welfare office? She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!"

"I'm about to pound some meat. Sadly this is not a euphemism. Again. *sigh*"

"What do you call a bunch of people buying non-brand name ice skates? Cheapskates getting cheap skates"

"Why was the dolphin happy and the shark depressed? The sharks life lacked porpoise."

"There are three types of people in this world Those who can count And those who cannot count"

"My Cocaine Is So White Police Let It Go With A Warning"

"If I was married to you, I would put poison in your tea If I was married to you, madame, I would drink it"