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Joke of the Day

"If there's a sock on my doorknob it means I'm having sex with the other one."

"Look, I know you really miss her. But, you know what? Sometimes things aren't meant to be. One time I really wanted this waffle...."

"A small bird flew right onto the side of my butt while I was running today I was wrong, there are chicks out there that find me to be their type."

"Wife: It's date night! Me: So, a movie, and... You still have that school uniform? W: Yes. *winks* M: Maybe you can get a student discount."

"I do most of my parenting on Facebook. My kids post that they're smoking pot and having unprotected sex and I reply with a sad emoticon :-(."

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAND EYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYEE"

"My sister said she wanted to have sex with me. I tried to say no, but she was incestant."

"A woman walks up to a guy in blue swimming trunks and says, ""Your eyes match your swim trunks!"" He says, ""Why? Are my eyes bulging?"""

"A forest fire is the world's way of adding black trees to the forest community."

"Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? Because he's married."