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Joke of the Day

"Confucius says - He who goes to bed with itchy butt Wake up with stinky fingers. Just remembered this from when I was 13"

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a dog! Sit!"

"Why did Mr. Clinton want to become President? Because it pays the bills."

"I had a Viagra addiction... and it was the hardest time of my life."

"I was raped by mimes They did unspeakable things to me"

"My wife was gang raped by a troupe of mimes.... They performed unspeakable acts on her."

"I bet most braille on public signs says: ""How did you know this was here?"""

"I try to teach my mom something new everyday Because apparently you're supposed to learn from your mistakes."

"Just realized that my spirit animal is Winnie the Pooh. Two words: No pants."

"I hate when the urinal auto-flushes while I'm still using it. Did I just cease to exist? Am I back now? If not, where am I peeing?"