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Joke of the Day

"I bet most braille on public signs says: ""How did you know this was here?"""

"Instead of washing your hands after going to the toilet Just give your cock a good clean in the morning. Badly remembered Jimmy Carr joke."

"If Trump is so bad why does he visit a homeless shelter every day? [someone whispers in my ear] I am now being told it's to taunt them"

"What did Putin say to the U.S. and E.U. after invading Ukraine? Crimea river"

"I would have won the Junior Olympics too... ..if it weren't for you medalling kids."

"I've never met an air conditioned room I did not like."

"Gave my cat some organic soy milk and now she wears two pairs of tiny Toms."

"I'd hit that. - women drivers"

"Knock knock -Who's there? 9/11 -9/11 who? I thought you said you'd never forget."

"A man has been arrested after a bungled attempted at the theft of a combine harvester, during which he fell into the working parts of the machine. Police expect him to be bailed tomorrow."