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Joke of the Day

"Vader: I'll teach you the Death Star's power Leia: By blowing up my planet? Vader: By showing you a PowerPoint presentation Leia: NOOO!!!"

"Two Muslims are on a frozen lake not talking to each other... I thought I would go over there and break the ice."

"What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons."

"There are three ways to spread news telegram, television and tellawoman."

"What's the speed limit for sex? Sixty-eight. At 69 you have to turn around."

"[first day working at the pizzeria] Me [cheeks full like a hamster]: boss, we've run out of everything"

"Dear Johnson & Johnson: Ejacu-lotion Please DM me for my address to send royalties checks."

"What do you get if you cross an eagle with a skunk? A bird that stinks to high heaven."

"Do you know why the bike couldnt stand by itself? It was TWO TIRED!!!"

"Knock knock Who's there? Anna Anna who? Anna partridge in a pear tree! :D"