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Joke of the Day

"Vader: I'll teach you the Death Star's power Leia: By blowing up my planet? Vader: By showing you a PowerPoint presentation Leia: NOOO!!!"

"My penis is jealous because... baby, you just blew my mind"

"[offensive] jews KNOCK KNOCK Who's there Nazi Nazi who? Who killed the jews? Natz me."

"What's the most racist letter of the alphabet? Not Z."

"What do a walrus and a Tupperware container have in common? They both like a tight seal."

"That which does not kill me... should run."

"I decided to join the new Jewish fraternity on campus ... Zayda Ate a Bagel"

"After math class, my friend fell off of a vertical cliff... I yelled Y^Y^Y^Y^Y^Y^!"

"[mob about to stone a sinner] JESUS: Stop! Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. [mob drops rocks] JESUS: [picks up rock]"

"I only sleep with my laptop so that if I ever get a boyfriend I'll be used to sharing the bed"