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Joke of the Day

"Which pirate makes the best food? Captain Cook."

"I woke up next to a girl this morning... She must have been absolutely wasted, she didn't know who I was, Although that may have been the Roofies I slipped in her drink."

"A chicken walks into a bar He said ""I think I am in the wrong joke..."" Meanwhile, a scientist crosses the road."

"Is there an apology card for: Sorry I kidnapped your dog and made him run on a treadmill to power my toaster last week, or no?"

"My mom told me not to kill the spider but to take it out... so I did, we had a few drinks, top lad he is..currently working as a web designer."

"I was loving the song with the great beat in the lunchroom at work today when I realized it was the dishwasher running. It's great to be me."

"Wanna hear a joke? My mute friend told me this one."

"Whats the difference between a steak, an egg, and a blow job? You can beat your meat and beat an egg, but you sure cant beat a blow job"

"kicked out of church. I yelled ""YEAH WE ""HAVE A MARIA"", SHE'S MY AUNT, WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING IT WEIRD"". mustve gotten too close 2 the truth"

"what's the best part about eating out your... nsfw ....grandma? you can suck her tits at the same time!"