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Joke of the Day

"Two snowmen are standing next to each other in a field when one looks over to the other and asks: ""Do you smell carrots?"""

"Just saw on the news that Apple is suing Samsung: They claim that the Galaxy S3 has copied concepts used on the iPhone 6."

"I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, ""How flexible are you?"" I said, ""I can't make Tuesdays."""

"Whats grey and comes in pints? Elephants"

"I just read John F Kennedy's biography The end was mind blowing"

"The secret to success is to surround yourself with people that don't know you."

"Dr. Seuss would have CRUSHED it on 8 Mile."

"If you're gonna take the high road,wear a skirt. I need something to look at from the low road."

"Pro tip: Don't moan when getting a pat down at airport security"

"How are a pizza maker and a gynecologist the same? They can both smell it, but they can't taste it."