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Joke of the Day

"What is a monster's favourite society? The Consumers' Association."

"I kicked a French guy in the balls... Once, I kicked a French guy in the balls. As he clutched his groin and sank to the floor, he whispered in pain, ""wee wee"". So I kicked him again."

"Jokes about nazi concentration camps really offend me My great grandfather died in a holocaust camp. He got really drunk and fell out of a guard tower"

"[first date] me: don't let her know you vocalise everything you think her: what? me: shit she knows"

"I was trying to find my flying drone Then it hit me"

"It's Thanksgiving, who doesn't like Turkey? Russia"

"'100% Yes!' '1000% Yes!!' '1,000,000% Yes!!!' I wish the X Factor judges would stop trying to top each other... and just top themselves."

"Excuse me, here's your nose. I found it in my business."

"I was inept with girls in high school. Once I tried to unhook a bra strap and accidentally made a macrame plant hanger."

"A Man With No Legs Walks Into A Bar..."