91095
Joke of the Day
"adult coping mechanisms: drinking, Netflix, pretending nothing's wrong"
Next Joke
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cole ! Cole who ? Cole as a cucumber !"
"Almost touched an old person tonight. Luckily I jerked my arm away before they could drain me of my youth and vigor."
"What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day? A Buddha Pest."
"I poured my root beer... ... into a square cup, now I'm left with only beer."
"Knock, Knock! Knock, knock! Who's there? Snow. Snow who? Snowbody!"
"A man started a business in Afghanistan. He's making landmines that look like prayer mats. ""It's going well,"" he said. ""Prophets are going through the roof."""
"Promised myself that today I wouldn't steal anything, kill anyone or use any Meatloaf song lyrics in a sentence & two out of three ain't bad"
"[walking away from taco truck] WIFE: whats wrong ME: nothing WIFE: did u think the truck would be one giant taco ME: *wiping away tears* no"
"My girlfriend's not up for being fisted tonight. I guess I'll just put my feet up."