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Joke of the Day

"My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. . . My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?"""

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"So, two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... *Ba dim tish!*"
"How to catch a polar bear Cut a hole in the ice. Surround the hole with frozen peas. When the bear walks up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole!"
"Why do they say ""Amen"", not ""Awomen""? Because they sing ""hymns"" not ""hers"""
"I'm opening up a restaurant called: I Don't Care, Where Do You Wanna Go?"
"Velcro sanitary towels... They're a bloody rip off"
"Accidentally deleted an invitation to join LinkedIn from a friend. I doubt I'll ever get an opportunity like that again."
"B2.... or not B2... That might be the number. --Shakespearean Bingo Caller"
"Chuck Norris has never lost his virginity. Chuck Norris never loses."
"Satan: you can spend eternity in hell OR you can go to work for the first time in 5 days. Me: hmmm Satan: well? Me: IM THINKING, DAMN IT"