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Joke of the Day

"Velcro sanitary towels... They're a bloody rip off"

"I'll take a Friday the 13th over a Monday the 13th every single time."

"Why is the difference between brucellosis and brucellitis like the difference between a woman and an LGBT woman? One is real and the other isn't."

"Sexism Hurts Everyone I mean, I'm a sexist, and I can't get a girlfriend, so who the fuck is going to do my laundry?"

"I don't answer unexpected knocks on the door in case it's the beginning of a very polite Zombie Apocalypse."

"Sir you don't need to be tailgating me I'm already going 55mph in a 35mph zone And the lights on top of your car look ridiculous"

"What do you call a group of white people sitting on the bench? A basketball team."

"Gravity is such a bully... It always brings us down."

"Oh your boyfriend proposed? Well I just realized my new dress has pockets, so I think it's obvious who's having a better day."

"A man was in a supermarket.... and he saw a man. He went up to him and said ""I know you from somewhere, are you famous?"" The man replies ""no no no... I'm famYOU""."