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Joke of the Day

"Accidentally deleted an invitation to join LinkedIn from a friend. I doubt I'll ever get an opportunity like that again."

"I'm thinking of becoming a gynecologist....i hear there's plenty of openings."

"What do you call delicious Vietnamese food? Vietnoms"

"My mom moved me away from Texas as a kid, statistically decreasing the chance I ever get the death penalty and that's pretty cool"

"Chuck Norris did not ""lose"" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice."

"What is the only type of folder that can make you sick? Salmon Manilla"

"Food service workers should be completely hairless at all times."

"You know what my new year's resolution is? 1680x1050"

"I bumped into Brad Pitt the other day They say you shouldn't meet your heroes, but I think Brad handled it really well."

"What's the difference between a woman and a plate? You can't lick a woman dry. Rimshot*"