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Joke of the Day

"I mailed my maths homework to Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin and Queen Elizabeth II ...it said to give my answers to 3 significant figures."

"This little piggy went to the market This little piggy stayed home This little piggy spread a swine flu virus And killed 250 million people"

"I found ISIS's website... It's the bomb dot com!"

"I used to be a hesitant hugger... But I've learned to embrace it."

"God, the Atheists are coming! God: ""Tell them I'm not around!"""

"Overheard 2 dad's at the playground wondering if my kid was as creepy as me. Joke's on them. I don't have kids."

"Who was King Arthur's knight who built the round table? Sir Cumfrence"

"A black third grader goes up to his mom and says: ""Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade, is it because i'm black?"" ""No."" She replies. ""It's because you're 19."""

"uh oh we better all stand up for the old man in the dress who bangs a tiny hammer down or he might decide that we have to live in a cage"

"In honour of St Patrick's day, can you guess my Irish name? Pat MiGroin. Yeah, my grandpa just told me that one...some visual images cannot be unseen."