209522

Joke of the Day

"God, the Atheists are coming! God: ""Tell them I'm not around!"""

"Why didnt the mole make it to the stripclub? He was slow as molasses."

"Why are aussie bogans and necrophiliacs the same? They both want to crack open a cold one."

"We are making our own xmas crackers for the family gathering this year. Got any good jokes we can put in them? Jokes as in ""why did the chicken cross the road"" not as in ""live wasps""."

"Someone just gave me a CD rack, which would have been an awesome gift if this was 1994"

"Can't believe Sting isn't the lead singer of the Scorpions"

"The Final Jeopardy category is: Beer. The answer is: It's f**king close to water. The correct question is: Why is Bud Lite like having sex in a sailboat?"

"Did you hear Harriet Tubman will be on the $20? Does this mean it'll be worth 70% of its value because she's a woman? Or does it mean it'll be worth 3/5th because she's black?"

"Daycare lady: *notices 3-year-old's shirt is on backward* It's cute how you let her dress herself. Me: Yes. She did that."

"What do Brooklyn and tight jeans have in common? Flatbush."