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Joke of the Day
"My friend wants a fairy tale wedding, so I'm going to poison her. I hope that's what she meant."
Next Joke
"Drive me up the wall, so I know you're 4 wheel"
"forrest gump (1994): this film gave me very unrealistic expectations of what my life would be like as a huge idiot. 2/10"
"I wanna make a toast, to all of you. But i have no bread."
"Why is it weird that the Jews killed Jesus? They love prophets"
"911 what is your emergency? Me: ""My 6 year old hasn't stopped talking since he got home"" 911: ""stay calm ma.. Me: MY EARS ARE BLEEDING"
"You better hope you marry rich."
"How do you get down off an Elephant? You don't. You get down off a duck."
"What would Abraham Lincoln say if he found out there was a movie about him slaying vampires? What's a movie?"
"What's the correct what to enter a Henry VIII convention? You just Amblein."