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Joke of the Day

"What's the correct what to enter a Henry VIII convention? You just Amblein."

"I remember 2014 like it was yesterday."

"Why don't cannibals eat divorced women? They're too bitter."

"I got a job crushing cans at the supermarket... It was Soda Pressing."

"My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell 'em: ""You're gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates""..... whatever!!"

"*runs into restaurant* IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR? ""I'm a doctor"" Nice. Nice. Can you buy me dinner I'm very poor"

"I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes."

"Watch as i slowly pull my shirt up over - wait, stuck in the too-small neckhole...struggling... Okay, dont watch."

"My friend said she likes Nickleback"

"Why do Jewish women like circumsized penis' Because they're all 20% off"