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Joke of the Day

"How do you get down off an Elephant? You don't. You get down off a duck."

"Why should you separate something into 62 parts if you want to make it tiny? Because sixty-seconds=minute."

"Bieberohhellnophobia: fear of accidentally listening to Justin Bieber song & not having the ability to rip own ears off #omgfacts"

"Yeah I pee in the shower, but not while I'm in it"

"My wife told me she bought a really sexy dress just for me. I'm planning on wearing it this Friday."

"A man with no nose applies to be a professional flatulence detector."

"There's a new drink called the Sandy It's a watered down Manhattan."

"Dear Kanye West, Take the diaper off your daughter and put it around your face. A lot of crap has been coming from it lately"

"If you were out camping and woke up with a condom sticking out of your ass and didn't know why, would you tell anyone?"

"When it comes to girls with low self-esteem... guys always go for the low hanging fruit because they are easy pickings."