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Joke of the Day

"Verne Troyer was pick-pocketed on a recent trip to New York. I can't believe someone would stoop that low."

"Two guys are walking when they come across a dog on the sidewalk, licking his balls. One guys says, ""I wish I could do that."" The other guy says, ""You better pet him first to make sure he's friendly."""

"Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question...... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard."

"What's the difference between a zit and a priest? Zit waits until you're a teenager before it cums in your face."

"The first rule of Thesaurus Club is you do not talk about, name, hint at, refer to, discuss, or mention Thesaurus Club."

"I'd like you to meet my family, my wife Sharon, my son Carl, and this balloon that follows me around"

"Way ahead of you, ""cashless society."""

"How did Micro-soft get it's name? Because Bill Gates has a 3.5 inch floppy"

"""...This one is TOO big. This one is JUST right."" -my daughter, picking out her preferred public toilet."

"I wanted a sweater for Christmas... But instead I got a screamer and a moaner"