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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a thief who steals timepieces and a man at a strip club? One snatches watches and the other watches snatches."

"Why Trump is the most religious president in United States history? He got Every Juan praying!"

"How can you tell if someone got their dog from a shelter? Don't worry, they'll let you know."

"Cosmetology school was a real letdown. Anyone wanna buy a spacesuit?"

"When people put pics of their vacation on FB I write: I saw fire trucks outside your house but I'm sure you already know, have a great time!"

"Q: What do you call a cow with a hysterectomy? A: Decalfinated."

"Hide & Seek Where is the worst place to play hide and seek in a hospital? In the I.C.U."

"Doctor: You need a new liver and we found a match. Me: When can you operate? *lighting a candle* Doctor: When we find you a new liver."

"A female is like an AP free response question She asks question A, B, C, and D and implanted in all Are questions i, ii, and iii."

"What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping? A clean sheet."