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Joke of the Day

"I don't work here. I'm a consultant."

"How to tell if you're girlfriend is TOO fat. When she sits on your face and you can't hear your stereo any more."

"I wonder if they sell tumbleweeds on eBay, as it would be cool to have a few following me around the office wherever I go"

"I was going to be a politician for Halloween Then I realized I couldn't fit my head up my ass"

"Why do conservative gay men vote conservatively? They want to keep the right to bear arms."

"The man on TV said if you drink alcohol every day, you're probably an alcoholic. Phew! I only drink every night."

"My teacher said he doesn't like imaginary numbers because the uses are limited. I asked him whether he was for reals."

"Q. How do you make a dead baby float? A. 1 scoop of ice cream and 2 scoops of dead baby."

"Did you hear the joke about the Irish city? You'll be Dublin over in laughter when you do."

"There is a bible book all about beer... Its called Hebrews"