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Joke of the Day

"Q. How do you make a dead baby float? A. 1 scoop of ice cream and 2 scoops of dead baby."

"Just heard a weird noise from the other room, but refuse to call out ""Is anyone there?"" I've seen the movies...those people always die!"

"My stepdad hates it when I call him Bernie... He's really sensitive a about his scars..."

"I'm about as sociable as mushrooms... I'd like to think I'm a pretty fungi."

"What's the difference between Jesus, and a picture of Jesus? It only took 1 nail to hang the picture."

"Canadians are not always nice, especially if your son pisses on their snowman."

"Why did the goose cross the road? Because he's an asshole."

"How do you know if there is an elephant in bed with you? He has a big E on his pajamas."

"Yo mama is so fat that if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill."

"What do you call an Irish man that bounces off of walls? Rick O'Shea."