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Joke of the Day

"The man on TV said if you drink alcohol every day, you're probably an alcoholic. Phew! I only drink every night."

Next Joke
 
"April showers bring may flowers What do may flowers bring? Pilgrims. What do Pilgrims bring? Smallpox"
"The creator of auto-correct died recently May he restraunt in peice"
"CAPT. AMERICA: Merry Christmas, Hulk! Happy Hanukkah, The Thing! Er... what religion are you, Thor? THOR: Do you understand I'm an actual god"
"Why did the elk cry at the funeral? He had lost a deer friend"
"You're ""gluten free?"" How nice. I'm mostly ""money free"" so I can't be so fuckin' picky."
"What is a pirates favorite letter? Arrrr, but his true love be the sea"
"Fun prank: a chameleon exhibit with no chameleon."
"A friend asked me to do their hair for a rastafarian party... I'm dreading it"
"I drove my car into a river and watched it turn into a mobile phone... One minute, a Kia. Next minute, Nokia."