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Joke of the Day

"I didn't sleep well last night so I made my coffee with redbull instead of water. I got half way to work before I realized I forgot my car."

"My Boyfriend: Why are you so dramatic? Me: (Getting eaten by a lion)"

"How can you tell if a Finnish guy likes you? He's staring at your shoes instead of his own."

"Wanna know the best part about being in 10 year long marriages? Having sex with a different woman every year."

"If it was the choice between having the last pizza on earth or the last sex on earth, which toppings would you have on your pizza."

"So my teacher asked why I was failing my loud music class... I told him the subject just wasn't my forte"

"What do you call someone who only tells knock-knock jokes? A Jehovah's Witness."

"Damn girl, are you an appendix because I have no idea what you do but this weird feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."

"just missed a turn because I was trying to tweet ""dong cheadle"" while driving"

"Ingredients for an apocalypse salad Edive, thyme"